what happens after death????

Can you find out for me plz? :D

Your body decomposes and becomes one with the earth. You will then return as a huge beautiful tree. You will do what trees usually do, swaying to the breezes and stuff. A sweaty guy with an axe will turn up and cut you at the base. You will then be put into a grinder and come out as paper and we will print the Bible on it. Read it to find out